Deep in the Cells of Our Hearts, We Know Forgiveness Heals

Norturing Helinn Love

Jesse wrote a message on our kitchen chalkboard shortly before he died, “Norturing Helinn Love” (Nurturing Healing Love). 

These three words are not in the vernacular of a six-year-old, and were phonetically spelled because he was in first grade and just learning to write. They are in the definition of compassion across all cultures and comprise a profound formula for choosing love. This formula is now being taught in schools, communities, and now most importantly, in homes around the world.

It is in these Covid times that we are reminded, in no uncertain terms, we truly are in this together. Humanity seems to overcome our perceived differences and come together in times of tragedy and pain. When my six-year-old son was murdered in his first-grade classroom at Sandy Hook Elementary School, huge warehouses were filled, many times over, with sentiments of love and support from all over the world. A significant amount of these were sent by children. Children have yet to learn how we judge our diversity yet all seem to be able to rise to the occasion of tragedy.

Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies. — Nelson Mandella

The formula can lead us to Choose Love in the face of the Corona pandemic. We start with the COURAGE to be present, face our new reality, and ask what the lessons are for us to learn. Jesse stood up to the shooter as he turned into his classroom after having gunned down the principal and counselor right outside the door. His gun ran out of bullets and during the short delay while he reloaded, Jesse called to his classmates to ‘Run!’ He saved nine of his friends’ lives before losing his own. We all can have that courage. Science tells us courage is like a muscle and we need to practice to strengthen it.

Nurturing means loving-kindness and GRATITUDE. We can shift the lens of our focus amidst our worry, fear and uncertainty by having the courage to find something for which to be grateful. There is always something to be thankful for. If we are present, we can even experience ever-present micro-moments of joy, to be savored, even amidst pain.

The definition of healing is FORGIVENESS. Now is the time to take back your much needed personal power by cutting the cord that attaches you to pain. To whom or what have you been giving control of your thoughts, that impact your feelings and behavior? Find the courage to let it go and give yourself the gift of peace.

As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison. Nelson Mandela

Love is COMPASSION IN ACTION. When we have the courage to step outside of our own lives to help one another, we are CHOOSING LOVE and helping to create a safer, more peaceful and loving world.

Charles Darwin, the renowned naturalist, geologist and biologist concluded that the species most equipped to move up the evolutionary ladder would be the one with the highest number of its members sympathetic to one another. When scholars researched what Darwin meant, they found ‘sympathetic’ to mean altruistic, generous and compassionate. In other words, it is not ‘survival of the fittest’ but survival of the most loving. 

The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man. — Charles Darwin

As human beings, we are all the same in the want and need to love and be loved. We all feel pain and suffer. We are all susceptible to illness, specifically now with the pandemic of COVID-19. Another commonality is that we will all die. Tomorrow is never guaranteed, even though we live like it is. The reality is that all we have is right here, right now. 

Those who leave a valuable mark will be the ones who were altruistic, generous, and compassionate. By choosing love we cultivate peace in the hearts and minds of current and future generations. What will your legacy be?  

Our human compassion binds us the one to the other – not in pity or patronizingly, but as human beings who have learnt how to turn our common suffering into hope for the future. — Nelson Mandela


Cultivating Love and Forgiveness can change every aspect of our lives. The repercussions of this, in leading by example, continue to have a deep and lasting beneficial impact on many others and for many years. How have you benefited from forgiveness? Either having been forgiven or by forgiving others? We’d love to hear your stories of healing in the comments below.

May Compassion and Forgiveness lead us all into Unity, Peace and Love.


Scarlett Lewis is the founder and Chief Movement Officer of the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement. Be Inspired and turn your heartbreak into Love in Action by clicking on the link above.



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Robin Green
4 years ago

What a heart, what a soul; we learn from you.

Dave Du
4 years ago

Thank you so much.
More blessings.

Team Uplift

Megan E Neal
4 years ago

Good Lord thank you for your lead. What courage. Mama bear hearts move mountains. I needed this today- thank you!!! <3

Jenna Foster
4 years ago

Thank you Scarlett. Reading this today was just what I needed. A hopeful reminder that we all have the power to forgive others and ourselves no matter how devastating the pain. When we forgive we fill the world with the love it needs to thrive and move closer to our true purpose which I think is to learn to be stronger in love with each precious day. With gratitude,

4 years ago

i have been a victim for over my entire live i have been in their critics i have been out of labor all because they were thinking the worse of me while i was passing by a no Good time so imagine how i feel or how i felt in certain moments i was so furious full of hatred towards they up to this day i am still facing the selfsame fact that people do not change they just go astray by looking ones appearance ignoring whats really inside of su the true humble ones that still survive i used to be in no Good behaviour towards they but i realice that the only one resulting affected was and is me so now i look fortward seeking GODS advise before i enter in commotion i forgive them who were not their real personality at that time so i say father forgive them an d forgive too

4 years ago

I don`t have to forgive or be forgiven my dear Scarlett. Ich am 69 years young. My life was good. I`m very happy to became, who I am. So ham. Thanks all, who have lead me to this wonderfull being.

4 years ago

Thanks my dear Scarlett. Corona didn`t change my life. I live normal like ever. I am connected in LOVE with myself and eternity. There is no pandemic. Its all okay. Felix from germany.

4 years ago

Forgiving,for me was debagging the emotions feelings,Anger and bitterness that I carried on my shoulders and in my heart for over 20 year’s… Gave me clarity and compassion for the situation and the knowledge to heal

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Take 5 Deep Breaths

1. Feel your body.

2. Relax your shoulders.

3. Choose a word that makes you feel peaceful, such as om, peace, or love.

4. Inhale slowly while mentally saying the word you chose. Pause before starting the exhalation.

5. Exhale slowly while mentally saying 1 with the first breath. Exhale saying 2 with the second breath, up to 5 or more.

Feel Your Body

Relax your body, and just be aware of how your body feels. Without changing anything, notice what you are feeling, and where you are feeling things in your body.  If your body wants to adjust a little, let it. Be curious how it feels as your body relaxes. (Resist any temptation to analyze or think.)

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