A Letter to My Younger Self

What I Wish I'd Known Back Then...

Dear self: Your secret, lonely knowledge is true. Despite all you have been told, the world that has been offered to you as normal, is anything but normal. It is a pale semblance of the intimacy, connection, authenticity, community, joy and grief that lie just beneath the surface of society’s habits and routines.

Dear self: You have a magnificent contribution to make to the more beautiful world your heart knows is possible. It may not make you famous, but you have an important gift, an indispensable gift, and it demands you to apply it to something you care about. Unless you do, you will feel like you aren’t really living your life. You will live the life someone pays you to live, caring about things you are paid to care about. You can make a different choice.

Dear self: Do not believe the cynical voice, masquerading as the realistic voice, that says that nothing much can change. That voice will call your dreams by many names: naïve, unrealistic, immature, and irresponsible. Trust your knowledge that the world can be different, can be better. You needn’t sell out and live a life complicit in maintaining the status quo.

Dear self: You carry a deep yearning to contribute to the healing of the world and fulfillment of its possibilities. This is your deepest desire, and if you abandon it you will feel like a ghost inhabiting the mere shell of a life. Instead, trust that desire and follow it toward whatever service it calls you to, however small and insignificant it might seem.

Dear self: The most reliable guide to choice is to follow whatever makes you feel happy and excited to get out of bed in the morning. Life is not supposed to be a grim slog of discipline and sacrifice. You practised for such a life in school; tearing yourself out of bed for days of tedium, bribed with trivial rewards called grades, intimidated by artificial consequences, proceeding through a curriculum designed by faraway authorities, asking permission to use the toilet. It is time to undo those habits. Let your compass instead be joy, love, and whatever makes you feel alive.

Dear self:
When you follow your passion and come fully alive, your choices will feel threatening to anyone who abides in the dominant story of normal. You will be reminding them of the path they didn’t follow, and awaken in them the suppressed yearning to devote their gifts to something beautiful. Rather than face that grief, they may suppress it – and suppress you as well.

Dear self: At a certain moment it will become necessary for you to go on a journey. It isn’t to escape forever. It is to find yourself outside of whoever your conditioning trained you to be. You must put yourself in a situation where you don’t know who you are anymore. This is called an initiation. Who you were becomes inoperative; then, who you will be can emerge.

Dear self: Powerful forces will attempt to make you conform to society’s normality. These will take the form of social pressure, parental pressure, and very likely, economic pressure. When you encounter them, please understand that they are giving you the opportunity to define yourself. When push comes to shove, who are you?

It's OK to make mistakesEven the wrong path is part of finding the right path. Image: Dan Grinwis

Dear self: The old maps do not apply in these times of transition. Even if you try to follow them, even if you accept their bribes and heed their threats, there is no guarantee you’ll reap the promised rewards. The university graduates washing dishes and the PhDs driving taxis attest to this. We are entering new territory. Trust your guidance. It is OK to make mistakes because, in uncharted territory, even the wrong path is part of finding the right path.

Dear self: On this path, you are sure to get lost. But you are held, watched, and guided by a vast organic intelligence. It will become visible when things fall apart – as surely they must, in the transition between worlds. You will stumble, only to find overlooked treasure beneath your feet. You’ll despair of finding the answer – and then the answer will find you. Breakdown clears the space for synchronicity, for help unimagined and unearned.

Dear self: None of this advice can be sustainably implemented by a heroic effort on your part. You need help. Seek out other people who reinforce your perception that a more beautiful world is possible and that life’s first priority is not security, but rather to give of your gifts, to play, to love and be loved, to learn, to explore. When those people (your tribe) are in crisis, you can hold them in the knowing of what you know. And they can do the same for you. No one can do this alone.

BY UPLIFT

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Daniel
2 years ago

Thank you! I just found the link of this letter that I saved in my notes a couple of years ago. I had to support myself by the wall because such a strong beautiful, enlightening emotion hit my heart when I realized, reading this text, that all of that was true these couple of years! ❤️🍀

Breda
6 years ago

It gives me hope ..thank you

Mary
6 years ago

I have been out of social media for a few days as I feel I am exactly in this transitory situation… I was scroling on facebook and found this article … it was so comforting to read it. Thanks for such inspirational words.

bade
6 years ago

Beautiful. I woke up to this inspiring letter to my self. I am very hopeful. I’m grateful that you share this with the world.

Aisha Aisha
6 years ago

So inspiring, Thanks for the message

Blessed
6 years ago

inspiring. real truth.
thank you

Kathy
6 years ago

Great and timely article. Thank you. I am in that place where my world has fallen apart! This has given me new hope. I will carry on.

Christine Sandel
6 years ago

Thank you

Curiosity

Curiosity is our natural ability to look at things with fresh eyes. As we put aside opinions, concepts, projections, and expectations: we become available to experience this moment with the wonder and innocence of a child. 

Being curious brings us into a natural, open, and vast space to explore: “What is this?” “What am I experiencing?” “What am I feeling?”

4. Bring more awareness to what you are feeling. Focus on your felt experience and the qualities of the Inner Resource as you embody it. Resist the habit to analyze. Simply feel your body and emotions. 

5. Be open to your current experience, whatever it is, without judgment. Just ride the wave of the experience.

6. Remember that the quality of your attention and what you are feeling are more important than the content. Notice how your attention changes, waxing and waning, growing stronger, and sometimes getting distracted. No worries, simply bring your awareness back to the moment, take a deep breath, and focus on the Inner Resource.

7. Become familiar with the feelings and sensations of the Inner Resource you have chosen. Feel what is showing up in your physical body and your emotional body. Be curious to discover how this Inner Resource will support you in your life, to be who you really want to be, and feel how you really want to feel. It is through feeling the Inner Resource that you activate the frequency of it. 

Take 5 Deep Breaths

1. Feel your body.

2. Relax your shoulders.

3. Choose a word that makes you feel peaceful, such as om, peace, or love.

4. Inhale slowly while mentally saying the word you chose. Pause before starting the exhalation.

5. Exhale slowly while mentally saying 1 with the first breath. Exhale saying 2 with the second breath, up to 5 or more.

Feel Your Body

Relax your body, and just be aware of how your body feels. Be curious about what is happening in your body. Without changing anything, just notice what you are feeling. Notice where you are feeling things in your body. Make yourself more comfortable if you’d like. Take a deep breath, and feel the sensation of aliveness and the energy of your body.

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