Returning to Yourself After an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Returning to Yourself After an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Five Ways to Take Your Power Back

If I could describe the impact and aftermath of emotional abuse in one word, it would be invisible. Emotional abuse may leave no physical marks, but the depth of the scars and the weight of the pain creates a burden that people can’t see—or don’t want to.

According to Psychology Today’s Andrea Matthews, emotionally abusive tactics include constant criticism and/or control, verbal assault and/or abuse, shaming and/or belittling language, mind games, refusing to communicate at all, and isolation of the victim from supportive friends and family:

“I know what’s best for you. Your friends don’t care about you the way I do.”

“What are you talking about? I never said that. You’re making things up.”

“You won’t leave me…and I won’t let you if you tried.”

“You’d look more honest if you wore less makeup.”

The cycle of abuse, as developed by Dr. Lenore Walker and survivors, includes four stages—tension building, incident, reconciliation, and calm—that also apply to situations of emotional abuse.

Each stage works to hold the victim under the abuser’s control, and to keep them in a state of unreality where the victim is made to feel like they are not able to believe their own experience.

The anguish of being isolated, put down, and controlled by someone you love, work with, or share a personal relationship with carries immense consequences that can stay with the victim/survivor for years.

The invisibility effectOne word that describes the impact and aftermath of emotional abuse is invisible. Image: Jeremy Bishop.

Depression, anxiety, and complex post-traumatic stress disorder are common among survivors of emotional abuse, and the healing process can be made even more difficult by lack of support or outright disbelief when victims come forward.

Your experience was valid—no matter how hard people try to take that away from you. You deserve to be heard, and to heal.

When an emotionally abusive relationship of any kind comes to an end, there is often a massive question that takes its place: “Now what?”  We decided to create our own answer. We spoke with survivors of emotional abuse and came up with the following:

1. Take your time.

In an emotionally abusive relationship, time is often used to tie your attention, affection, and efforts to the abuser. Time is power, and abusers will do everything they can to keep you from having it.

Whether you were not ‘allowed’ to hang out with a certain friend, told that your long-term dream was a waste of time, or otherwise constantly questioned, controlled, and/or gaslighted on the who, what, when, where, or why of how you spent your time, being out of that relationship can often feel more frightening than freeing—and that is completely normal.

“I went from the love of his life to a [complete] source of frustration and a burden. Every time I wanted to spend time with him, it would cause a fight,” said Eva of her past abusive relationship of three years.

“Threatening to leave me or actually leaving me for short periods of time were his way of asserting his power onto the relationship,” Eva continued. “If I wasn’t exactly how he wanted me to be, he would start threatening me in that way.”

Your abuser wants you to feel lost, scared, and alone, and like there is a massive hole in your life without them, but that is not the reality. It never was.

Your life is your own to live, and you can take as much time as you want, on what you want, who you want, and where, when, and how you want to do it.

While the consequences of abuse may impact your ability to act on these things, there is no time limit on healing.

Self-care on your own terms.

That slam poetry group you’ve always wanted to join, getting the pet you’ve wanted for years, or chasing that dream job across the country… use your time however you want.

2. Re-draw your boundaries.

Boundaries are an essential part of practicing love with yourself and others.

As explained by online counseling service 7 Cups, boundaries allow you to define your limits—where they begin, where they end, and the terms that apply as you interact with the people around you. Healthy boundaries are established through consistent communication that holds the people involved with accountability, compassion, and understanding.

“For me, healing meant recognizing that my needs matter and that they are my responsibility, and that I can choose who I surround myself with,” said Jordan, who was impacted by emotional abuse from her parents. “I knew that was the right choice for me, because I felt less stressed and angry, and had fresh mental space and time to surround myself with people who did support me.”

While Jordan still shares family ties with her parents, she has gradually been able to proactively make and enforce her own boundaries with physical distance and time away from them.

It may not feel like it now, or for a long time, but the power is now back in your hands. It’s not going anywhere, and will be there whenever you are ready to redraw your boundaries.

The best part? It’s all about you.

3. Forgive yourself.

What the abuser did to you was wrong. You never deserved it. The guilt, shame, and fear are not where your energy belongs right now, or ever again.

Out of all the things that you deserve, self-forgiveness is towards the top of the list.

The importance of boundariesOut of all the things that you deserve, self-forgiveness is towards the top of the list. Image: BBH Singapore.

While emotional abuse is a defined form of domestic violence, according to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, people still hesitate to believe or support survivors.

“When it’s been with people who didn’t know him, everyone has been incredibly loving and supportive,” said Eva of the experiences she’s had telling others of what she went through from her abusive ex-partner.

“However, when I talk about it to people who knew us together, though they completely agree that it was toxic and horrible and I was being manipulated, they seem to get very uneasy around the use of the word abuse,” she added. “It’s almost as if my experiences are missing something for them to consider it abuse, or they are just uncomfortable with the word.”

Abuse in any form is never your fault. It doesn’t matter who the person was. It doesn’t matter how they got into your life. It doesn’t matter how long the relationship was. It doesn’t matter why you stayed.

None of that matters, but here’s what does: You made it through. You survived. You’re free. You did it.

4. Knowledge is power.

Trying to make sense of the abuse, and what to do after, seems like a difficult task on the good days, and entirely impossible on the bad ones.

After however long you were forced to only know and understand the world through the abuser’s perspective, it is absolutely normal to experience confusion—even fear—over where to start.

For many, therapy can also be a powerful tool: “With therapy I learned to ask for help and take breaks when I needed them,” said Katie, who was affected five years ago by an emotionally abusive friendship.

In the process of confronting the abuser and their actions, Katie lost her best friend of 18 years. “When I was able to talk about what happened without crying or having an attack, I knew I was starting to really heal,” Katie added.

Depending on the available resources in your area, there may be relevant workshops, classes, or seminars you can attend. A quick search online can turn up local organizations, communities, support groups, and more.

If resources are difficult to access or you are unable to get to in-person courses for any reason, the Internet is your friend.

There are thousands of articles on everything from defining emotional abuse, to what to know on how to love again after emotional abuse, to the why and how of moving on from sites like BetterHelpLove Is RespectThe Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness, and more.

From creating healthy boundaries to conflict resolution techniques, there is a class or article out there waiting for you—and the knowledge you gain from it will be yet another tool in your arsenal.

5. Take back your story.

People who emotionally abuse others often force false narratives onto the victim to justify the abuse. This often places the abuser as always being right, and the victim as having no authority or say on what the abuser says or does, except to affirm their perspective and decision-making.

You are lovedYou are loved and you are not alone. Image: Toimetaja tõlkebüroo.

Abusive false narratives can sound like a lot of different things. Among the many types of lies abusers tell their victims, the receiving partner may be told they are incapable of living their life without the abuser, that they are ‘damaged goods’ in some way, or that nobody else will love them.

This is also a form of gaslighting—the abuser is attempting to change your reality by altering how you see yourself. The conflicting emotions from being told a false, harmful story about yourself from someone that you trust or love can be heavily damaging, and with long-lasting effects.

After an emotionally abusive relationship, the lies that the abuser told you about you may continue to affect the way that you see yourself.

When the abuser is safely and securely out of your life, it’s your opportunity to take back your story. The undoing of the abuser’s lies and manipulations through your self-actualization can feel like an awakening, but can also be very emotionally difficult to process.

Rebuilding your story is a highly personal step, and you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to—including going public with your story, or sharing it at all. Regardless of where you take your story from here, all the choices are yours now.

Emotional abuse and its consequences are difficult to heal from. You are rebuilding yourself from the aftermath of months, years, or decades of harm, and it is very common to feel like you’re struggling, because you are. You were abused, and that is what abuse does.

Healing is not linear, and the process can take months, years, or decades. Everyone heals on their own time.

Your journey can take on many different directions as you address each part of your situation, and there are resources available at each and every step of the way.

Above all, know that you are loved, and that you are not alone.

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1 year ago

Wow. It was like reading my own story about the man who threatened to leave and did so. I shiver when I read this. 8 years that in the beginning was perfect. He loved me like nothing else but suddenly I became annoying for wanting to spend time, reacting to that he usually ignored me when we were with different people. Ended with emotional abuse for 2 years. Every time we had a discussion he left
– some days or a month. Never answered the phone or anything. Didn’t know what silent treatment and gaslighting was back then. I was always the problem, I am alone and needed him but he didn’t need me, I was pushed in a wall for standing in the way, everything with me was hard and problematic. It’s been 10 months since I threw him out. Never going to speak or look at him ever again.

The hardest part is to understand that the same person that loved you also treated you like he hated you. and yes, people who don’t know him can say that it was abuse but friends who knew both of us have made me questioned what happened. I know what happened and that’s enough.

It took me along time to understand that I have been emotionally abused. Today I feel I’m healing everyday, getting stronger every day but I know that some days it feels like I grown or I feel sad. But that’s okey because next day I’m healing again❤️. From that day I am standing up for myself in every way I can.

1 year ago

An insightful article, thank you for this. I would make one observation, however. From the images displayed and the people you talked with, the article is one sided to the female experience. Men also suffer in abusive relationships but we are often socially shamed for talking about our experiences. This is a real problem. This, of course does not take away from this article and you can’t help who chose to open up about their past relationships, but it would be encouraging to see a more balanced take on this issue. I commend all the people who chose to discuss their personal lives in this article though. It is important and healing.

2 years ago

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for most part of my life.
I know it’s hard loves but let today be the day you take back your lives ,your emotions and accept yourselves .
Don’t allow anyone to exert that kind of power over you after the separation.
Some days you may feel like you have it together, other days you may feel as if your world is caving in …. it’s all on the road to healing. Trust the process and what ever you do never let it change who you are .
Healing and prayers are on it way

2 years ago

I am 40 year old guy father of 2. I have been emotionally abused by my wife and her mother. I have been belittled over and over again. My wife wants every single thing her way she says she is never wrong and I am the one who has problems in my life.. when confronted her reasons are that I have to be like a son to her parents. Her mother must be invited to every single occasions not only at our house but also my parents and siblings occasions. She needs to be respected unconditionally and if for once she feels she hasn’t received the attention she will make hell out of my life and that I have to apologise to her mother only then she will have better relationship with me.
She says she didn’t ever and will never trust men in general and that she doesn’t see anything wrong with that because she is one of a kind and is entitled to be how she feels like.
She has left home many many times and lived with her parents for days and I have gone and begged her to come back, her conditions to come back have always been apologise to my mother.
Her mother has name called me 100s of times she had told me that there is no manhood in me and I am so weak that can’t keep her daughter happy and that I have to learn from other men
In the beginnings I tolerated all out of respect, after a while anger got built in me and had to defend myself but that took everything to next level in their eyes I was now a useless piece of shit. Belittling stared more and more and still keeps going from time to time. Although it has reduced only because I have been hospitalised 3 times, receiving multiple ECT treatments and many different medications that I am still on.
There have been no sympathy or empathy from wife and her mother.
Right now I am clinically ill and have completely lost my sanity. I can’t know who I really am. World seems and feels like a foggy dream and I can’t feel any hope.
I left my wife thinking I would be free and get my Heath back. But that made it worse so subconsciously I decided to come back for the sake of my children and now I am jeered up and told that I wasn’t man enough so I left her and still not man enough to stand by her and that I have plans in the head hence came back but she is on to me to find out what my plans are.
My reality is I have been feeling disconnected from world and myself and the fact that I am alive is good enough for me so my children don’t grow up without their father beside them.
I can’t decide what is good or bad for me to do as I only have very little mental energy.
Before marriage I was a senior manager at work and a musician for hobby. Had great group of friends. Full of life and didn’t know what anxiety or depression really meant.
I read some comments above and saw mainly women in similar situation as me. Now thinking my wife and her mother are right about the fact that there is no manhood in me. Otherwise I would have been not ever this ill.
Wow life sucks sometimes.

2 years ago

I finally walked away from an emotionally and physically-abusive relationship 6 weeks ago after my partner hit me in in front of my kids. He is a narcissist with his own traumas that seemed to affect his ability to self-reflect and thinks every negative thing in his life is someone else’s fault. Despite his anger issues. Despite his drug and alcohol addictions. Despite being late to work nearly everyday. All of these things were usually on me. I was never allowed to do anything but smile. When I faced serious medical issues, he told me I complained too much about my pain. When my children misbehaved, it’s because I’m a terrible mother (nevermind my Master’s degree in education and a 15-year teaching career). And when I did stick up for myself, he would belittle me, tell me he could do so much better, call me a cunt, tell me his ex girlfriends were way hotter than I am, hit me, threaten to kill me, or dump me. He must have left 15 times, but always came back.

Why did I allow this to continue for so long? Why did I miss him every time he left? And why, even though this is the first time I LEFT HIM, do I miss him even now? His absence haunts me. And I see myself becoming angry and bitter instead of healing and whole. How do I stop loving this man who tore me down repeatedly and traumatized my children?

2 years ago

I finally left the guy after 4 years of extreme up and downs.
I took care of him, emotionally, sexually and he used to go up and down like a rollercoaster… Sometimes he was kind and I forgot my anger about things he said. He used to say so many things that were extremely hurtfull, I was ugly, dumb, stupid, annoying, boring, and I was not his ideal women. He used to call me names whole day and I used to accept that. It makes me so sad to think how I was so blinded by my care for him. Which was not even real, as I always knew deep down it all was extremely wrong and unhealthy.
After trying to leave him he would seek attention with a lot of messages… I feel like he was directing personal frustration towards me, even though I’m kind and I hold my head up high…

I am sweet, kind, strong and he seems to cling to that, sometimes I feel he tried to suck it out of me, trying to make me feel as miserable as possible…
He tried to position himself as extremely dominant.
I still am processing and asking myself questions…
Why do I cling to someone so broken, why the care of the emotionall toll and self-sacrifice. Why ignoring red flags? Why ignoring my worth? Why believing in potential? Why lowering my standards? Why ignoring patterns?
I can’t blame myself. I know I have tremendous care for other people, but how can I direct this at myself?
I am starting new, erasing this crazy past, trying to direct that love and energy to myself. It’s not the end, I rediscovered my worth…
Some people will ask you to give and give, sometimes a person can’t give anymore, and it’s time they should think of someone else then themselves.
Impossible for my ex, but good for me to realize.

I am looking forward to my future self, balanced and smart, when you enjoy being alone no one can use it against me!
I know… even tho I still have bad days full of disbelief, that happiness is around the corner. And I will be strong, vocal and support those who have gone through the same. I know that I will never tolerate any disrespect again. I deserve that future partner who will echo my feelings/thoughts and build eachother up. Not a one-way street! I find confidence and peace in this thought.

2 years ago

Reading these messages gave me so much power than anything else. (Edited Content) I’m trying to heal, I’m a strong person.

2 years ago

I got out of an abusive relationship few weeks ago, I used to think of myself as a strong person that could go through any emotional challenge. But after this break up, all I’be ever wanted to do was to find someone to really talk to about how broken I am. I’m 22, introverted and it’s my first relationship. I’m used to being independent which always got him so scared because he wanted to see me begging him for help. He constantly said things to put me down and it was even a long distance relationship, how I ever got so broken is what I don’t understand. We only talked on the phone and had face time. I was going to introduce him to my family very soon and he’d come to see them. Instead of ending things with me, he’d constantly yell at me, tell me I irritate him, and say I’m giving him attitude and even ignore me for days and blame it on me saying he felt I needed some space. I kept complaining about it all and even had arguments until the 7th month when I was really scared that it was getting worse and if he comes to see me, then I’d be totally hooked. But now, that I broke up with him, he texted all kinds of things and wanted to make me broken. I didnt think I’d be but it’s overwhelming. I didnt think I deserved this. All I wanted was to be loved

Marion Mullinix
2 years ago

Thanks for telling your story. I’m still struggling to forgive and forget the boyfriend who used my long and complex history of multiple types of trauma to insult and demean me instead of just breaking up with me like a normal person. It’s odd to me that he opened a portal to my 5 year-old self and pointed out what a terrible person I’ve been all the rest of my life. As a mother, professional, and person in general. He blamed me for him calling ME names and using my darkest thoughts against me. He said he could’ve said worse, that I deserved it for saying something the night before (but he wouldn’t clarify or explain) then had the nerve to advise me to “let it go”
I will thank him for opening a deeper dialogue with my adult children, who see me as a good person and great mother. They both thanked me for their childhood and current relationship with me. I’ve rekindled my relationship with their father and have learned to be grateful for a man that knows everything about me too and has NEVER called me a name or tried to hurt me.
The abuser will NEVER take responsibility for anything he did to me including the last night, except to say, “I messed up, it was a bad night and you were trashed” (I had one drink)
My other favorite is that he said many times about himself, “I make mistakes” with a shrug, and didn’t seem to get that when he’s trying to reconnect with the now adult children he verbally abused and emotionally traumatized (or me) that isn’t a comment that makes us feel like he’s sorry and he really takes responsibility for the fact that what he did wasn’t a MISTAKE but a CHOICE to be cruel, abuse, and strike out for “maximum damage” Like, “how could anyone love you” and “your son tried to kill himself to get away from you”
I don’t wish him well, I hope he dies alone with his money but I’m hoping to work towards wishing him nothing because I don’t even think about him anymore.

2 years ago

I’m finding it hard to get my mind back – it’s on a constant loop of grief, wondering whether I imagined it, replaying things over and over. I’m free of the relationship but despite all my self-care and reading and keeping busy my mind is not moving on. I had 5 years of being told I was old ugly and boring before leaving. Then two years later I agreed to go back before realising he’d met someone else. He told me all the time loved her, he spent all his time with her and only reluctantly came round and was bored and miserable the whole time. I kept saying goodbye to him and wishing them well but he wouldn’t let me leave. He kept saying he loved me too and there was nothing going on with her. I don’t know whether it was guilt that made him stay with me. So we’d try again and it was the same – he told me all the time how amazing she was and texted her all the time. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. So I made a final split but he wants to be friends. I know he’ll be with her now though which makes everything he said a lie. When am I going to be mentally and emotionally free of this?

2 years ago

It’s been 2 1/2 months since I got out of a 12 year emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. After the 1st month he showed up at my house 3 times in a week very upset, which had no effect on me. I was doing surprisingly well until we “just happened” to run into each other 2 weeks ago (he had been stalking me). I was proud of myself because I said my piece and walked away but later I couldn’t sleep and cried all night (the 1st time I cried). I texted him saying if I see him in public again I will walk away because he’s not good for me. I felt very strong finally setting boundaries but ever since I’ve been an emotional wreck – crying, thinking about him. I haven’t heard from him and feel pretty confident I won’t, it’s been a very long time since I’ve set boundaries with him. I know the relationship is over,it was abusive and toxic and that won’t change. Why an I such a wreck now when I was doing so well?

2 years ago

I recently got out of a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. Its been hard, I pretty much have been harassed everyday with phone calls since I’ve left. I have his number blocked, but he still finds a way to call and leave me hurtful voicemails. The relationship lasted 2 years I had tried multiple times to leave, but each time he would threaten suicide or him relapsing and would say it would be my fault. I felt trapped. He would then love bomb me, promise he would change, apologize for things that he would do again. It was an endless cycle and I feel upset at myself for enabling it by allowing him back in my life those times. As time went by he got more aggressive during arguments I’ve bled, had my personal things broken, and anything personal I shared would become ammunition to hurt me. Any time I was upset I was told that I was bipolar & had a personality disorder. Any idea counter to his I was told why I was mad or trying to argue. No matter how badly he hurt me, I always wished him the best in life. Instead, I was told multiple times that I got the treatment that I deserved, that bad things are going to happen to me, that I got what I deserved because I was a “f**king” bitch, that he hoped I died. Him wishing death on me was the breaking point for me. It’s been hard to stay strong because being told over & over that I got the treatment I deserved makes me feel belittled and worthless. I’ve fallen back into drinking just to try to not feel anything. At times I just want to fall off the face of the Earth.

I know I was an enabler by allowing him back into my life those times. I guess it could have even been considered a codependent relationship. In response, to his verbal abuse I become mean.. whenever I had defend myself against false accusations and being unjustly interrogated. Being abused that way brought out the worse in me. I just wish I can be me again one day.

2 years ago


Two days ago I stormed out drunk and terribly sad out of a former friend’s house at 4 a.m. For a year I have been his emotional, sexual, you name it, support. Dealt with his abuse of benzodiazepines and alcohol, dealt with his self-harm… out of my care, my worry for him. But when he decided to entertain himself with someone else, suddenly we were “just” friends. Just friends who hooked up weekly, went on dates, shared intimacy I had never shared with anyone. I went so far to trust him that we started having our “friendly and casual” sex without any protection. This went on for a year. Last week I stopped everything I was doing with my own life to take care of him because he was really sad about his work and some family issues. We basically “played house”. This week, like many times before, he said he had a new date. Again insisted we were just friends and I was reading the signals wrong (but how was I supposed to read the signals when he said one thing but did another?!). During our year together and our on and off situation-ship every time I tried to explain how hurt I felt I was called crazy by him and he insisted that I had to go to therapy (but not because it’s something nice to do but because I was someone deeply flawed). I don’t know. I know it’s a good thing that I’m “free”, but I feel awful. I have been crying for the past few days feeling all kinds of bad things. Guilt, shame, sadness, regret. I wish he would feel at least a fraction of what I’m feeling right now… but it seems to me he just doesn’t have the depth. I don’t know. I hope I get better soon.

2 years ago

Dear Team UPLIFT ~

I am so thankful to have found this article. After three years of completely doubting myself, and being told that I was over-reacting and that I was “crazy”, I realize that I had every right to doubt myself, simply because of the choice I MADE to commit to this man instead of to my intuition and common sense. I am no longer a captive in our explosive narrative, and the lessons learned from my time and choices with him, will forever change the way I approach emotion, response and reaction. I hope to go back to the person I was before I met him, fell for him (obviously not in love with him) and hated (oh so closely tied to love) him: a loving, generous, spiritual, TRUSTING and sweet person. My hope is that victims of emotional abuse find their way to your site and bookmark the article to read and reread.

I am blessed and lucky to be free…free to start the new narrative in the forms of bucket lists, volunteer work and work related excellence.

In the name of love and forgiveness ~


2 years ago

I was in an emotional abusive relationship for 17 years and left him when it became physical. I lost many “friends” or at least that’s what they called themselves, I’m 3,5 years out of the relationship and still struggle on confidence, on what I can do myself, on finding a job and still sometimes feel like I’m not smart enough or good enough to get the job I want. I’m in a new relationship with someone so sweet and supporting and sometimes it scares me if he tells me I’m beautiful and perfect in his eyes. He is all I need but sometimes I still feel like I don’t deserve him. Thanks for opening my eyes with this article, now I know I was in a emotional abusive relationship and I think this will be my starting point of healing more and more!

2 years ago

I’m very grateful for this article and everyone who has commented their stories.

As a man, I feel a LOT of shame. Since my divorce I have found it difficult to share my story with anyone. Any time I have shared the smallest portion of my story with family, or what few friends I have left, you can literally feel the ‘disbelief’ when I tell them I was emotionally and verbally abused by my ex-wife. Most days I am terrified of how I’m supposed to make friends again or date again when the weight of everything I’ve been through is so incredibly heavy. It seems like every story I have is linked to another traumatic event where I was put down, criticized, shamed or ridiculed.

I’m not sure how common it is for a man to speak about and actually use the word ‘abused’ when talking about how they were treated by their ex-wife but it feels incredibly hard and shameful. Thank you for this article. It’s a start.

3 years ago

I don’t even know where to begin my story, but it wasn’t until I broke up with my ex that I truly realized that I was emotionally abused. All my friends and family could see from the outside from what they knew that it was emotionally abusive. But that’s the thing when you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship it can be really hard to realize that you are as they have taught you to deny your feelings and you start to question whether how you ever feel is valid because they have such a crazy reaction to your feelings whenever you try to express them. We were in a relationship for around a year and it started out so well we both understood each other and listened and helped each other, but once I went to school for the semester everything changed and this should have been the first red flag that then time apart caused issues. I had to juggle university and a relationship and we spoke every day and I even suggested phone calls as well and it was not like I was going to school in another state she even then came to visit every weekend which became an issue as if I tried to say I might have too much work to see each other on the weekend she would instantly get upset and angry at me as if it was my fault that I had school work. Ultimately, I became trapped that I suppressed my own needs and put hers first as it would cause less argument and any time she was upset I truly did my best to listen and offer help but that just made her angrier and she never wanted to hear how a certain situation made me feel. It was basically a situation of constantly having to be the bigger person. I even was perfectly okay with her ruining my birthday after she started an argument the day before she was supposed to come to visit to celebrate my birthday. She always wanted me to change and put in the work while any issue I brought up with her she did not do anything to change. Things just kept getting worse she picked fights with me all throughout my finals because I couldn’t see her and she couldn’t handle that I was at home studying for my finals and so close by to her house. About a few months before we broke up things escalated even more that lead her to explode and hit me and drag me out of her room that for the first time I feared for my life. I had to escape out of her house without her noticing yet it was only after this incident that she was apologetic but that did not last as she went back to her old ways. It was silly of me at the time to stay with her after that. Finally, this October I ended things because I was done with the way I was being treated we had been on a break for a bit and she was posting on social media about working on herself but never would talk to me about those things and she even came to the city I go to school in and did not tell me which was hypocritical. It’s been a few months now and while the bruise has healed there’s still a physical reminder and emotional.

3 years ago

Thank you so much for this. I needed this help more than you could possibly imagine right now. From the heart, thank you ❤ x

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