The world is spinning. I am spinning. I want to say we are spinning out of control. I begin to tumble into thought processes of negativity. Some I recognise in short, sharp language negative self-talk. Some just feel like a heavy sigh or a knot in my stomach. It happens in milliseconds, this thought to somatic flatlining. I try and inhale a more useful perspective but my mind jumps in fast. It wants to justify my ‘right’ to these thoughts and feelings. It stands tall, an air of righteousness about it and states clear and firm, “It isn’t negativity, it’s reality.” And for a deflating moment, I succumb and believe that thought. My heart sinks, an army of justification allies charge at me and resonate a little hopelessness into every cell. That’s the trap of a depression, it throws a joyless blanket over everything around me. It’s a melancholic filter and all my senses fall for the illusion. I’m on the edge …
I take a combative deeper breath and summon all my powers of will and choice. It feels like skiing uphill but I conjure my inner truth, my higher wisdom, all the teachings that at one point glittered as mini-satoris (awakenings into Truth). We rise up together and face to face with my self-saboteur I say out loud, “Back off!”. I say it louder and louder. Slowly, I pull myself back from the precipice of despair and remember the promise I make to my soul every day on opening my eyes.
Follow your bliss.
And because often in these strange times I feel down or at best neutral, I have to expand this often worn-out old spiritual adage. I have to adapt. I have to make it work for me in these challenging times. So my new and refined promise to myself is…
Follow your bliss and if you can’t do that, follow someone else’s.
It’s a fantastic reframe for me and it really works. I will then seek out something that is creating joy externally. Something that might blow a little on the embers of my own internal joy. When I follow these thoughts I naturally invoke curiosity and a desire to move from my current state of doom and gloom. That’s the hardest step, it’s the bravest step and it’s the magical first step. I just focus on that one small giant step, move my body, shift my focus, to change my state.
I rummage through my mental archives to find where the joy is referenced or stored. I’m always surprised how much positivity there is in there. I delve into old memories or photos. I watch healthy observational comedy so I can laugh at the absurdity of the human condition. I look at the miraculous foliage and flowers all around me. I listen to classical music or poetry. I meditate. I walk slowly in nature. I read passages from my favourite books. I sit under a tree and examine the light dancing through the branches evoking the sheer beauty and mystery of this miraculous life.
This morning I stirred long and hard at a cutting I’d taken from a ground creeper that I’d placed into a glass of water just a few days ago. I looked at the newly sprung roots, delicate, fibrous, thirsty, determined… and I literally couldn’t believe my eyes. This beautiful plant with its DNA code literally replicating and renewing before me. Just one of a billion life forms obeying its blueprint from consciousness. Its rhizome nature willful without an egoic will.
Classic FM was playing an instrumental cello version of Nessun Dorma. It was as if I could see the roots growing in time with the music. The oxygen in the water animating and feeding the roots in a slow-motion ballet of biological life and grace. The cello has always been my favourite instrument. Its strength and resonance with my heart is unmatched. I was suddenly in the sweetest sorrow. It was rich, exquisite and alive. My need to be anything other than alive in this beautiful emotion was enough. I felt compelled to google, ‘Nessun Dorma Cello Instrumental’ and a video of the world-famous Croatian cellist, Stjepan Hauser, came up. There was music, a children’s orchestra in nature and my favourite musical instrument brought to life by a wonderfully talented human being. This little film-clip brought me to tears. It restored my faith in humanity and therefore this world.
I borrowed their bliss and it ignited my own.
Find a quiet moment for yourself and watch this very short film. Listen to this bliss. See the children’s dedication and shared vision. See a master musician in the role of master of inspirer. Open your heart and let God out.
Please let us know how this touched you. Please share your authentic self here in the comments below. We love you always and especially when you humbly and courageously open your heart and let God out.
Paul and Team UPLIFT
You didn’t steal anything Paul, you tapped into someone else’s bliss and were uplifted by it, just as all those gorgeous performers would want. Then you were generous and shared it for all of us to be uplifted by it too. Thank you. There are so many beautiful things out there that are reality. It can certainly be challenging to remember and have faith in that, but each time we find one it really is a bliss to store and keep in our minds and hearts. Peace, health and love to all x
This video brought me to tears and touched me deeply. What joy to see this beauty being created and enjoyed !
Goose bumps, smiles, hope.
I want to thank you and all the young musicians. I want it playing all the time . It gives me hope at this time of uncertainty An elder. Who is sooo sorry I did not learn to play some instrument. These young people are so lucky to have this tool in their life for their happiness and be able to give to others. Joy. [email protected]
As my colleagues say, God is within us. Each has its own religion. I believe that you can see your God both in music and in children. What is your goal for tomorrow, why do you get up in the morning, why do you do everything you can – that makes sense. I also realized that it is very important to be able to forgive. It’s actually very simple. My God is in me!
Loved the video and music . Loved more the article because I resonated with it. Yes daily I struggle with negative thoughts and have to work at it to find bliss – nature always soothing and receptive. It’s a life line to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom
My feelings as I watched this amazing video was one celebration of the beauty of music and all
those who share their beauty with the world !!!
I don’t need all that space , thete were tears , not words
Thank you for the gift .
During these tumultuous times, I am feeling overwhelmed with anxiety. I resigned from teaching art because of Covid, and I feel secluded and lacking purpose. You words spoke to my heart and soul. This video brought me to tears. Thank you!
This morning is the 1st day of our 2nd lockdown, I feel emotionally exhausted and sad as my dad is in a nursing home a full year on the 24 th of this month . He has vascular dementia and since March 12th the 1st day of lockdown he has deteriorated terribly . All I want to do is hug him and reassure him he is loved . So this morning finding this beautiful piece of writing and music has given me hope and I’m trying to find strength and dig deep and believe all will be well !!! Thank you for sharing this lovely article with me xx❤️❤️