Arguments in relationships are typically so regrettable, painful and often so bitter, it’s natural to hope we might – with greater maturity – overcome them once and for all. But, with our human nature, it would be unwise to make this our goal. We perhaps cannot eliminate arguments altogether, so it should be to try to find our way to a better kind of argument. Arguments tend to start when we are confronted – usually rather suddenly – by what appears to us to be the radical selfishness, intransigence or sheer nastiness of the partner.

Our tendencies, when we’ve been slighted by our partner, is to wound them back immediately. We would have far calmer and kinder relationships if we could just have the courage to reveal our hurt – rather than inflict it back.

This film is from The School of Life.