The Four Elements of True Love According to Buddha

The Four Elements of True Love According to Buddha
Ancient teachings on love that have the power to transform our relationships.

In the Buddhist faith, there are four elements of love that make it ‘true’ love. These elements must combine to make love true and long-lasting.

They are not magical or even spiritual concepts, they are simply behaviors and virtues that we must hold in order to make love strong.

These four elements of love are easy to grasp, but they make a relationship much more joyful and fulfilling.

1. Maitri

Conquer the angry one by not getting angry; conquer the wicked by goodness; conquer the stingy by generosity, and the liar by speaking the truth. – Buddha

Maitri is translated into kindness or benevolence. This is not only the desire to make someone happy but the ability to do so. You may have every intention to love someone, but the way that you love may make them unhappy.

You can harness the ability of Maitri by truly looking at the one you love and developing a deeper understanding of who they are as a person. By understanding the person you love, you will, in turn, learn how to love them. This understanding is based on the ambitions, the desires and the troubles of your love.

Understand the one you loveBy understanding the person you love, you will, in turn, learn how to love them. Image: Suzana Sousa

Develop this element:

Take time to be attentive and observe your love. Listen to their words and ask them about their hopes and ambitions. Learning more about your love helps to open the door to understanding them, and how to love them in a meaningful and fulfilling way.

2. Karuna

If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly our whole life would change. – Buddha

The second element of true love is Karuna, meaning compassion. This is the ability to ease the pain of others, as well as the desire to. This is also based on understanding, but the understanding of the suffering of your love. Only when you truly understand their suffering will you be able to help in alleviating and easing their burdens.

Practice meditation to help you in your understanding of your loved one, what distresses them and how you may be able to help and support them.

Develop this element:

Communicate with your loved one about what troubles them and ask if there is anything that you can do that will help in a direct way. Opening this communication, developing an understanding and the desire to help will strengthen your relationship.

3. Mudita

There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path. – Buddha

Easing the painOnly when you understand your love’s suffering will you be able to alleviate it. Image:  ラデク ストーン

The third element is Mudita, translated as joy or happiness. This element of true love is one of the most important, and in some ways, it ties all four elements together. If there is no joy or happiness in love, then the love is not true. If your love upsets you or distresses you, then it is, in fact, not love to begin with, or the love has been lost. Love must be fulfilling and bring joy and happiness to those who feel it.

When we are in love and we experience joy from it, our love grows stronger, and this is a sign that the love is true. Once there is no joy or happiness in love, then there is no longer any love.

Develop this element:

Take time to do the things that bring you joy, both together and as individuals. It is this development of joy in yourself that allows you to share your joy with your love. You should be able to find joy within yourselves, as well as with each other, to have love in its truest form.

4. Upeksha

The price of freedom is simply choosing to be. – Buddha

The final one of the four elements of love is Upeksha, meaning freedom. When love is true, both people within the couple should have freedom, and feel free within the relationship. Each person should feel free to be an individual to allow them to grow and develop in their own way. This allows you to be yourself and have time alone, safe in the knowledge that your love is doing the same. There should also be freedom within the relationship, being able to feel comfortable to share ideas and thoughts without fear of judgment. Having freedom whilst also being able to be a part of a couple is a sign of the truest love.

Happiness in loveIf there is no joy or happiness in love, then love is not true. Image: Valerie Elash

Develop this element:

Spend time apart from your partner without feeling the need to check up on one another. Do the things that you enjoy as an individual and are proud of. Once you come back together, discuss these things and why they make you happy.

Spend some time talking about different thoughts and ideas you have had. Act on these ideas and plan activities that one person wants to do. Developing a sense of freedom within your relationship allows both people to grow.

The Buddha spoke of many things, but love and life were of huge focus. His teachings on love show us that true love should be something positive and enlightening, bringing joy and freedom to our lives. Keeping these four elements of love in mind may just make it a little easier to find true love for ourselves.

Love is a gift of one’s inner most soul to another so both can be whole. – Buddha

The post The Four Elements of True Love According to the Buddha was written by Francesca Forsythe and originally published on www.lifeadvancer.com

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on linkedin

Related

COMMENTS

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
52 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
nandita shetty
nandita shetty
1 year ago

Mudita is “Joyous Sympathy” as opposed to just Joy.
I recently served for a Vipassana course & learnt the literal translation of Mudita during my period of serving.
I hope it helps as a correction to the article. 🙂

Kyla Jones
Kyla Jones
1 year ago

Hi Francesca, That’s a good one..Often what happens is that the couple take each other for granted and that is where the problem starts. Love is a consistent commitment to make an effort to let the other person know how much you love/care for your partner!

eduardo
eduardo
1 year ago

One of the elements that resonate with me the most is “mudita”. Although all are as equally important but the joy and happiness one must have is so important in a relationship. With joy and happiness both interlinking together is unique.

Breakupshop
Breakupshop
1 year ago

This is an excellent uplifting article.

I try and live by the saying,” There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path.”

Thanks for sharing

Michael
Michael
1 year ago

Love this!!! Needs to be spread world wide, Thank You

Dating Blush
Dating Blush
1 year ago

Excellent article. One can easily relate to the real-life situation with the given 4 points.
The best part of the article is, it also provides the way to develop 4 elements.
My favourite element is Upeksha or freedom.
And my favourite line is:
By understanding the person you love, you will, in turn, learn how to love them.

Thanks Francesca for the nice article. It’s worth reading.

Womendatingadviser
Womendatingadviser
1 year ago

Totally agree with “There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path. – Buddha”

I wish people understand the real thought of Buddha.

Nice article keep posting such a good things.

Jenni Reid
Jenni Reid
1 year ago

I like element 4, “Freedom” Being in a relationship and feeling free is a great state to be in!

HighPriestOttO
HighPriestOttO
11 months ago

the 4. element isn´t correct. it is not freedom, it is inclusiveness. 2 souls merge together to form a single unity. if that happens, both souls are always together without having to be around. i guess you could call it freedom then but the source isnt freedom, rather a fusion of 2 contrary souls forming 1.

Tjek Dating Sider
Tjek Dating Sider
11 months ago

Very interesting, thanks for sharing!

Parvinder singh
Parvinder singh
9 months ago

very interesting read indeed. Thanks

Barig
Barig
9 months ago

This is beautiful to read. It left me with two questions. What happens when your partner does not want to partake in the work described here, if it is only one half of the partnership trying to develop these elements? How do these teachings differ for couples who are raising children, a very challenging task and path?

Tom
Tom
8 months ago

An inspirational article, I must look into these aspects of Buddha more in-depth.

Diamond Dating NI
Diamond Dating NI
8 months ago

Loved this article. There is just so much fluff out there about “dating” when what we are all really looking for is love. I have to say that your article struck a cord with me.

Jimmy

Priya
Priya
7 months ago

Excellent article. I am a Hindu, I am writing a book on” Spritual Path.” I would like to get some ideas from this artical. I need permission from you.Thanks

52
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x

Subscribe to UPLIFT's free Newsletter

Get our regular newsletter sharing the latest updates, articles, films and events.

How will my data be used?