We all want to be the best versions of ourselves. We all want our tailored version of ‘success’ to have a positive impact on the world around us. We all dream of being seen in the world for our light and potential. We all have a secret life where our goodness shines forth and we celebrate our unique expression in the world creatively, altruistically, dynamically etc. There’s only one YOU … focus on that miraculous phenomena.
Be Yourself. Everyone Else is Already Taken. – Oscar Wilde
Back off Monkey Mind
Yet, we’ve all got negative self-talk. You know, the negative self-talk that your monkey-mind loves to spit out endlessly. Keeping you down and trashing your plans, hopes and dreams. It can strike when you are up and running and things are going well. It can also rear its ugly head when you are vulnerable and facing challenges. What is this built-in mechanism to sabotage you and your potentially amazing life? It’s complicated that’s for sure. Sadly, you cannot run a virus scan of your mind and clean-up the code. It got there over many years and many criss-crossed configurations of fear. So, to try and unravel it can be time-consuming and costly. It can also be self-perpetuating. Delving into the recesses of your fears can reactivate them. Of course, therapy is incredibly valuable if the monkey-mind is running the whole show or if the trauma is just too overwhelming. By all means seek therapy when you feel you need some holistic support.
Many of us are in a daily battle with negative mind-talk and are doing somewhat okay. But isn’t it exhausting? Imagine how much energy would be available if you could shut that monkey-mind down.
Here’s a technique that really works for me. It’s kind of fun too. Maybe it will also benefit you. Simply dig deep into your belly, grab some of the frustration and even anger that arises when you see how much energy this monkey-mind steals from you. How much procrastination and indecision this suck of energy causes. You should feel pissed off. You’ve self-generated all this remarkable energy for creative purposes to enhance your life and it’s stolen before your very eyes by an energy-sucking leech. Feel it in your belly and bring it up to your throat. Either out loud or in your angry inner-voice just say the words … “Back off Monkey-Mind!”
A Pattern Interrupt
You are setting a boundary. You are enforcing a new law. The law for the new you. Say it like you mean it. Every time you have self-doubt, negative self-talk, you’re beating yourself up for past-mistakes etc … Just find that anger of being robbed of your true light and energy and say again … “Back off Monkey-Mind!”
It’s called a pattern interrupt. And it works. I am getting really good at this … I just shorten it now to BOMM (Back off Monkey-Mind) – I drop a BOMM on all my negative thoughts that are not self-serving. Some thoughts come from your conscience, from your moral-guidance navigation system. They are worth listening to. The voice that says, “Hold on a minute, is this the best or right action in this moment and have you thought about the consequences?” That’s a good voice. Listen to that. Break it down and answer the questions before you proceed. But if the voice says, “Give up now before you make a fool of yourself.” Well, you can just drop a BOMM on that right away. Explode your self-sabotaging false beliefs. Foster your positive (and real) self-beliefs.
Once you get really good at dropping BOMMS on negative-belief-talk that will stall your engine, you can follow up quickly with some high-performance positive-talk lubrication. Drop a BOMM and immediately say, “You got this!” Say emphatically, “I wanna push myself into the best version of me.” From your belly, loud and proud, express your best, “I am going to see how this changes me and stretches me into personal and spiritual growth.” Maybe you could even try a ‘power-pose’ while you say it; like standing strong and tall with your hands on your hips. (According to Amy Cuddy’s research, simply changing your physiology can have a positive impact on your psychology).
Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are. – Mandy Hale
If you need any words of inspiration … then look no further than Marianne Williamson’s quote. If it was good enough for Nelson Mandela, then it’s good enough for you. Read it. Let it penetrate your cells. Let this charge up your BOMM. These words are the anti-virus software that you are looking for. Give yourself permission to SHINE.
From Marianne Williamson’s, A Return to Love:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
Set yourself a task of BOMMing the negative and making space for the positive. Train your monkey-mind to submit to LOVE. We’d love to hear about how this process is for you. What changes for you? Share your experience is the comments below.
Let your light shine and shine and shine …
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Hello! This is really a great article! I love to read all your articles, but this one is so deep and interesting that I decided to leave a comment on it) Most of all I was amazed by your phrase to your own mind – “Back off Monkey-Mind!”. It is really very funny)) I often find myself thinking that this “Monkey-Mind” often distracts me from something important and worries me. I definitely should try your technique and talk with my own mind! I really hope this helps. Each time I will recall your article with valuable advice, and I believe that it will work.
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Me, I use the line from an old Bob Newhart episode where he as the doctor tells his patient…JUST STOP IT!! when she explains all these horrific thoughts she has. Buried alive…
So, when the chatter happens, I say, Thanks but JUST STOP IT!!
Paul! Thank you so very much for the «BOMM»! It works!!! It works!!!
I like recognising and honouring the attempt the mind is making to protect us (described by Internal Family Systems)…bringing compassion to oneself instead of fighting oneself.
Incredible!! Thanks for creative sharing your wise insights…and for offering your technique to help hold onto the energy and stamina that’s truly OURS to use for joy! I’d say “BOMMS away” is something that can change this world…one person at a time!! Bless you!