How to Achieve Unshakable Confidence through Self-Realisation

How to Achieve Unshakable Confidence through Self-Realisation
Understanding True Confidence and How to Achieve it

The Dalai Lama says that nothing can ever be accomplished without confidence in yourself, but which ‘self’ should you have confidence in? Your personality, your abilities, your intelligence? Or is there something greater to put your trust and confidence in?

There is plenty of information around about the ‘law of attraction,’ where you can achieve all your dreams and desires through setting your intentions, attention, and states of mind to ‘attract’ what you want easily. Also, modern psychology can ‘pep you up’ with solutions of a healthy ego that sets reasonable goals. Or maybe you’re a Tony Robbins fan, so belief in yourself becomes almost religious and the sheer power of single-pointed motivation to obtain what you want is all that is necessary.

I do not want to misrepresent any of these systems of confidence because they all have their relative value and benefits, but they all contain the seeds of their own demise. Why? Because they all require effort; the maintenance of your ‘vibration’ or the feeding of your ‘healthy ego’ or the sustaining of your enthusiasm. Eastern philosophy upholds the idea that nothing you build can last; everything that is created will be destroyed and nothing in this world will bring you any lasting satisfaction. You can just keep setting new goals and adjusting your attitude again and again… but is there another way?

Another Way to Confidence

Maybe there’s something more ultimate, like God, Allah or Buddha that can be relied on with perfect confidence? There is a good case that people who have faith and confidence in these things have lasting happiness and peace that is more sustainable and reliable than worldly egos or enthusiasm. But I contend that most of this is based on a ‘healthy religious ego’ (another type of ego which is just more beliefs; a construction of fake confidence built on the foundations of concepts and ideas). This is why in Zen there is a saying:

…if you see Buddha in the street, kill him!

This popular Zen saying points to destroying any concept of something outside of yourself that can be relied on.

What is true confidence?We are told we need confidence to succeed but could we look at this differently?

So this brings me to what I would like to introduce you to that can be relied on, that can bring a fearless confidence and a way of being that is available to everyone, regardless of what country you are from, what religious background you have or how much money you earn; this is the universal confidence of discovering your own consciousness with all its miraculous qualities.

Since I have just somewhat criticised religions, I would like to mention these teachings–referred to as the ‘perennial philosophy‘–are found, sometimes hidden or secret, within all the major religious teachings of the world, and discovering or uncovering this hidden truth is the key to unshakable confidence and the goal of meditation.

Perennial Philosophy and the True Self

The perennial philosophy points to a ‘true self’ which, when contacted, heralds the dawning of a new identity, a new understanding of who you are and an unshakable confidence. This is not an arrogant type of confidence that believes it can achieve all goals or have whatever it wants; on the contrary, it is a humble confidence that realises deeply the futility and vanity of reaching for fulfilment within the temporary appearances of the world. A humility built on a grandmother-like wisdom that knows the temporary and fleeting nature of things. This is not depressing, instead it is liberating, and deeply realises the value of each sunset, each smile from another human being and the richness of every day. Each day is seen as more precious than ever and should never be taken for granted because it simply will not last.

It is a confidence in the already complete eternal present moment–the only place happiness and fulfilment can ever be found.

The type of confidence I am alluding to ironically starts with a giving up or surrendering. This surrender is called renouncing worldly affairs, which is giving up the temporary and unreliable fluctuations of ‘goal achieving’ happiness for the lasting and greater happiness available from knowing who you really are in the present moment.

Humble confidenceTrue confidence has humility and realizes the temporary nature of all things.

So who are you? The first thing I can say is who you are not and very simply this means you are not who you think you are. Thoughts are just ideas in your imagination; they are not real. Thoughts about who you are as a person are usually based on arbitrary things like your job, sexual orientation, country of birth or particular talents–all these things are temporary conditions labelled by thought with no lasting truth to them. Surrendering these thoughts of yourself is the first stage of meditation–when you are taught to just watch your breath and not take your thoughts seriously, let them come and let them go, they are of no significance to your real and lasting identity.

Try it–pause right now and contemplate–who are you in this moment, if you do not believe your thoughts?

Ok, so this blog is going a little bit longer than I hoped so I will ‘cut to the chase. Who are you really? Spoiler Alert:

You are an eternal unbounded consciousness that is the primary and fundamental source of the universe

That means, from this perspective, our bodies, brains and everything else comes out of this consciousness like a wave coming out of the ocean, rather than the other way around. Before you argue; you must understand that modern science, including neuroscience, has not yet explained their theory that consciousness arises from the brain and nervous system. It is still a mystery to them and known as the ‘hard problem of consciousness‘.

Mystics and contemplatives, on the other hand, have been telling us for millennia that our true selves are an unbounded consciousness imbued with intuitive intelligence, unconditional love and immeasurable bliss and joy. In Buddhism, it is called ‘Buddha Nature’ and it is taught that this nature is already perfect, enlightened and complete with positive qualities. The goal of all Buddhist schools is to realise this nature.

We are consciousnessOur bodies, brains and everything else comes out of this consciousness.

A Universal Self

Self-realised beings have told us that worldly happiness pales in comparison to the self-realisation of consciousness, and the East’s ideas of liberation and enlightenment are founded on realising this universal truth for yourself. Unfortunately, this realisation is ego’s biggest disappointment. It is not a personal self but a universal self, shared by every living being. You are not better than anyone else, you are just a reflection of this divine self within the conditions of the world. The term ‘Namaste’–the divine light in me recognises the divine light in you–is a great way to remember this when you meet others.

This consciousness, or open awareness, I am pointing to is fearless, what Zen Masters call indomitable–which means it is not moved or swept away by present circumstances. It is indestructible, like the sky, and contacting this inner space can bring tremendous courage and fortitude into our lives. The realisation that the passing weather can never harm the sky is just like how passing thoughts and emotions, no matter how strong, can never harm your true inner sky-like conscious self.

Your true self or open awareness does not come and go; you do not create this awareness in meditation, you cannot make it better and you cannot harm it either, it is at the heart of all experiences, it is here right now, it is the open space that is allowing you to read this blog. It is the effortless ground of your being, the unchanging presence that has been with you all your life. As Deepak Chopra explains:

Meditation is not a way of making your mind quiet. It is a way of entering into the quiet that is already there–buried under the 50,000 thoughts the average person thinks every day.

Thoughts and emotions are like passing weatherThoughts don’t affect our true conscious selves, just as the weather doesn’t affect the sky.

The Unstable Confidence

Zen Master Bankei calls it the great ‘Unborn’ because it does not arise newly or from causes, it has always been there–it is what the ‘big bang’ emerged from. It has never been born in the normal sense and therefore, it can never die, it is the only ‘thing’ like it. Everything else will be born and will die and cannot be relied on. If you try and gain confidence in anything else, it will be unstable and unreliable.

Another metaphor is–your true self is like the calm stillness in the centre of a storm or tornado, even when chaos is swirling around us, there is a calm centre, a quiet place within that always has a cheeky inner smile, a knowing that this too shall pass.

Consciousness has a quality of watching and noticing without reacting or being affected. We could simply call this awareness. Being aware of things without reacting is a doorway into this consciousness and a major style of meditation, as taught by many traditions. As Osho says:

…just keep on being more and more aware and you will be amazed at how your life will transform.

There is so much philosophy to discuss regarding this unbounded consciousness. Hopefully, I have pointed toward it enough to give you a glimpse just by reading my words. But there is no substitute for the self-realisation of contacting this naturally clear and unbounded consciousness through meditation. I would like to conclude with a meditation method for discovering your true self. This method points to and notices three qualities of consciousness as the ultimate refuge for everyone. The three qualities are stillness, silence, and space. This is a very simple and effective method to contact this ever-present consciousness, however, there are many different paths to self-discovery.

Unbounded consciousnessYou are unbounded consciousness.

Contacting Unbounded Consciousness

A simple technique:
1) Sit still
2) Be quiet (no matter what noises are around–the practice requires that you be quiet)
3) Allow thoughts the space to move through your mind without reacting to them

Notice these three things: being still, being silent and being spacious. Notice they are qualities that are already present within you. They ARE YOU. Contacting these three qualities allows you a refuge from fear and suffering at all times, even when you are moving, making noise and thinking. The underlying fabric that allows these things to happen is inner stillness, silence, and space.

This empowers an incredible self-confidence. You don’t have to do anything or avoid anything to be confident, simply find confidence in being you. Sit still and silent and just be for a short while. Just be, without trying to change anything. Just sit. Just breathe. And just be your natural self. You are already complete and fulfilled and this can never be taken from you. What is there to fear?

This is what can be relied on–being relaxed in the now, with unshakable confidence in your natural self–unbounded consciousness.

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Best 20 Osho On Self Confidence Interconex
8 months ago

[…] Quote from the source: … […]

Christine wareing
4 years ago

That was a very enlightening blog, I have followed the law of attraction, but this to me holds more truth about who I really am, thank you, I just am.

Georgina Ward
4 years ago

Very Eckhart Tolle!

5 years ago

Out thoughts DO control us, they develop our selves, our identity, who we think we are, our egocentric perception.
We are taught from a young age to develop an egocentric perception and perspective, everything according to ourselves, to be, to obey and to be slaves, the product, of our thoughts process and our cognitive identity.

The reflection in the mirror is not a true representation of who you are, it is however a reflected personification, a true representation of your egocentric perception of who you believe yourself to be.

We are taught to be our thoughts, that our thoughts are who and all that we are, instead of learning to understand our thoughts and to use our cognitive processor as a tool.
Mental illnesses are a result of perpetuation of emotionally connected/assimilated thought commandeering and controlling perspective and self-perception.
Depression and anxiety are a result of the mind becoming afflicted, obsessed and overcome with an overwhelming pessimism and fear.
The broken self-perception that finds it needs to protect itself from a reality that others cannot perceive.
Our thoughts become affected by our emotions and we, our self-perception, become affected by our thoughts.

“What we think, we become”

The thoughts that we allow perpetuate, to infiltrate and occupy our mind become assimilated with our perception and perspective.
Unless we learn to NOT allow this to happen, to disallow our thoughts to be in control, instead to be in control of our thought.
Silencing our judgemental, demoralising and pessimistic mind through meditation, mindfulness, even physical activity and focus, any process that distracts the mind from its perpetually demoralising perspective.

The egocentric perception is an identity that acts as a defensive barrier, most run to for self protection, distinguishing and developing the egocentric confidence, detachment and separation from an authentic self that can become overwhelmed with painful emotion and guilty conscience.

When we learn that our self perception is associated with a “presence”, an identity, that resides much deeper within ourselves than our just cognitive egocentric perception, then we learn to realign and mend our self perception and build our authentic internal strength and confidence.

5 years ago

Interesting article but in no way does meditation give me confidence to do anything. In fact this process has made me feel more weak than ever before. I do not react with such sadness and loss as before regular meditation but the powerlessness has increased dramatically. Perhaps my meditation technique has broken.

5 years ago

Once you are in the present moment, expand this moment to the next and then the next…..

5 years ago

Thanks Chad! A peace washed over me

5 years ago

Good evening Chad-
I enjoyed the article, and the points of contrast I find with it as well. I sense your authenticity and heart you put into writing this, and respect and appreciate you for doing so…I do find it a bit contradictory with the different points you made somewhat bumping into each other, though really they are similar – just each a different approach to the end result.

I disagree with your claim that only certain methods of discovering one’s own confidence is work…it is ALL work! For all of us -especially for those who are disconnected to their inner source/intuition, and follow everyone’s else’s words. I feel it is loving work though and we as humans reep the benefits if we just pay attention to how we feel at any given moment – good or not good. Meditation is extremely difficult for many to grasp or achieve, as many fear the stillness of their own mind and existence…and humility/selflessness doesn’t serve anyone in building their confidence – love and compassion do, which comes from simply paying attention to how they feel before they speak or take action with anything. If humans slow down to take a moment to pay attention to how they feel, yes breathe deeply and bring themselves into the current moment, there is no agenda -only clarity, calm, and some inner peace. Doing that and simply turning their attention to thoughts and things that feel good, allows them to get the impulses to say or do or not do something that will benefit them – bring more of the same to them – that builds self-confidence when they create the reality they desire watching life unfold more easily and effortlessly, once they realize they deserve and already have. Along with the realization that they get more of what they focus on – good or not good.

I agree with the misuse of importance on rituals and goals, and other people’s set programs. We can only feel what’s right and true to us independently- as we have our own desires and feelings of truth and joyfulness. Does it feel good or doesn’t it? That’s the key – however one gets there.

Peace Chad!

5 years ago

This article has explained very well what I have experienced – wonderful! I hope that it touches many hearts.

Gwen Rose Falkner
5 years ago


5 years ago

Transformational indeed.

5 years ago

Potent,fresh, and inspiring article……NAMASTE !

5 years ago

Thank You. Just when I needed it most.

Gitura kihuria
5 years ago

Great read!Empowering!

5 years ago

Bsat article I ever read

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