Feeling Difficult Feelings

what do we do with hard and negative feelings?

Feeling Difficult Feelings

This section provides support when experiencing hard or negative feelings/emotions.

Most of us have tried everything possible throughout our lives to manage, handle, control, compartmentalize, eradicate, transform, understand, analyze, dismiss, deny, ignore, disassociate from, explain, justify, intellectualize, spiritualize, and/or any other way to deal with our painful and upsetting feelings and emotions. 

Feeling difficult feelings is an essential and important part of the journey to reclaiming and reawakening our whole, vibrant, and powerful potential. These hard and negative feelings do not define or diminish us. We are always the infinite space of being in which these feelings appear and disappear. Opening ourselves to feeling difficult feelings and emotions brings us greater self-awareness, develops our intuition, gives us more strength, resilience, and compassion, and a host of other wonders that bring liveliness and miracles to us every day. 

Many of us think and hope that there is a goal or an ‘end state’ of never having painful, negative feelings or emotions ever again. There is no end state. We are continuously experiencing life in the fullness of ourselves. And, we have the capacity to build our resilience so that we learn from these emotions instead of trying to get rid of them. The more we become familiar with them, the more they inform us without disturbing us.

When we have difficult feelings, we can fall into belittling ourselves with self-judgment and abusive, negative self-talk. This can lead to inner confusion, feeling ashamed or guilty, or being afraid. And yet, when we simply feel into our painful feelings with curiosity and loving kindness towards ourselves, without our story or any intellectual analysis, we find that what we thought we couldn’t deal with miraculously reveals something totally unexpected.

Use the guidelines below to experience this transformation.

Any difficult feeling you let yourself feel with curiosity and kindness to yourself provides the very thing that seems to be missing. It’s almost as if our simple awareness is a universal solvent that turns anything it touches into beauty.

– E. Scott MacInnis

Guidelines to Explore Difficult Feelings.

These guidelines are not a substitute or replacement for therapy. Please consult a licensed therapist if you are having strong, overwhelming negative feelings and emotions.

Let’s Begin:

Writing down your insights can be helpful and is reccomended.

1. Feel your body, take a few moments to settle in.

2. Be open to your current experience, whatever it is.

3. Bring curiosity, gentleness, and kindness to yourself.

4. Acknowledge the specific feeling/emotion currently being explored. (Feel free to check the list of feelings/emotions below). Simply name the feeling/emotion with no internal explanation or justification. Notice what happens. Allow yourself to drop into and simply feel your current experience in your physical body and in your emotional body. For more support, Take 5 Deep Breaths.

5. Take your time, go slowly, and be patient with yourself. Stay relaxed and keep track of your breath. Notice what happens and what changes by simply being curious about your current experience. Take note mentally, speak out loud, or write down what’s happening. 

6. Settle into your experience and keep feeling, sensing, and being curious about it. What do you notice happening in your body? Where in your body do you feel things? Describe what you are feeling; either inside your head, out loud, or write it down. (Please resist the urge to analyze, justify, understand, or explain. We are not investigating the story or narrative of what happened or why. We’re simply feeling and noticing.)

7. In this exploration, you are allowed to feel any difficult feelings. Keep feeling your body to stay grounded and centered throughout this process. You can also notice how old you feel and if a younger part or identity shows up. That younger identity may have feelings to share with you. Give your younger identity the freedom to express all their feelings. Take your time, write it down if you like. Remember, it’s a process. Be gentle with yourself. 

8. Bring compassion and forgiveness to yourself and your younger part or identity (if present.) Bring in any Inner Resource that would positively support you and your younger part or identity. Feel free to check the list of Inner Resources and find the one(s) that will best empower you right now.

9. Notice what changes occur in your body and/or in the imagery you may see and/or in the level of intensity you feel.  

10. Take a few slow breaths and see how allowing yourself to feel even these difficult feelings can bring you more resources, resilience, and trust in yourself. For added support, Take 5 Deep Breaths.

This is courageous and powerful work. Congratulate yourself for being willing to explore these difficult feelings. 

We recommend revisiting this exploration as and when any difficult feelings/emotions show up. 

This exploration of Feeling Difficult Feelings goes hand in hand with Accessing and Activating Our Inner Resources. Together, these two practices empower our wholeness as beings of love and support us in establishing Higher Consciousness Humanity for ourselves, for others, and for the world.

Some of our more difficult feelings and emotions include:

Abandonment, Anger, Anguish, Anxiety, Ashamed, Belittled, Betrayed, Controlled, Cheated, Deceived, Depleted, Depressed, Despair, Desperate, Devastated, Disgusted, Dishonoured, Disrespected, Self-Doubt, Drained, Dread, Embarrassed, Exhausted, Excluded, Failure, Fear, Forsaken, Fragile, Frustrated, Furious, Grief, Guilt, Handled, Hatred, Hopeless, Humiliated, Hurt, Ignored, Impatient, Inaccessible, Inadequate, Insecure, Irritated, Isolated, Jealous, Lacking, Listless, Lonely, Loss, Manipulated, Neglected, Nervous, Offended, Overwhelmed, Pain, Panic, Pathetic, Rejected, Remorse, Resentment, Sadness, Shame, Shattered, Shock, Sorrow, Spent, Stressed Out, Stupid, Suffocated, Suffering, Taken Advantage Of, Terror, Unloved, Unlovable, Unworthy, Unsafe, Unseen, Upset, Used, Vacant, Violated, Weak, Weary, Woe.

It’s hard to feel any of these, but the way forward may be the way in… Explore the guidelines above. 

Please find out for yourself.

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