Changing and evolving are difficult things to do. In fact, they are so difficult that doing so or even planning to do so can drum up all types of feelings that aren’t very pleasant at all.
Unfortunately, many people interpret these uncomfortable feelings as signs that they shouldn’t proceed. So, they stop and so does the progress they were making.
If you are in the midst of making important changes in your life, here are 15 uncomfortable feelings that are actually telling you that you are on the right track.
1. Feeling Isolated from Others
Undergoing change at a deep and personal level is a lonely task. It’s something you must go through on your own. As a result, it is normal to feel isolated from others, and as if they couldn’t possibly understand what you are going through.
2. Having Difficulty Focusing on Tasks
Life change requires a lot of involvement and engagement on the part of your right brain. That doesn’t leave much energy left for your left brain. The left hemisphere is the side of your brain you use to perform practical tasks. The fact that you forget phone numbers and names, misplace things, or feel as if you must do everything twice to get it right is perfectly normal. It is a sign that the changes you are undergoing are deep and meaningful.
3. Feeling Restless and Anxious
Whether you are making a job change, a spiritual change, a relationship change, or something else, your emotions are in a continually stimulated sense. In addition to this, there is a good chance that your brain, including your imagination, is constantly in high gear. This can result in stress, which can lead to feelings of restlessness and anxiety.
4. Irritability at Those You Are Close To
If you are making or undergoing positive changes, why do you feel so irritated at the people you love? There’s a reason for these uncomfortable feelings. The people that you care about are often the reasons why you don’t change. They may unconsciously discourage you from changing out of fear of losing you, or they may simply follow the same behavior patterns that you are trying to break, e.g., financial irresponsibility. This can result in subtle resentments that can really come to the surface during this time.
5. Feeling Gripping Fear at Times
Change is frightening. Big change is terrifying. This is so true that you may find yourself in a near state of panic at times. This just means that the change you are undergoing is very real, very meaningful, and very permanent.
6. A New Tendency to Be Confrontational
Chances are, if you are taking action to grow and change, you were really dissatisfied with many aspects of your life. Now, you have decided you deserve better, not just from yourself, but also from others. Because of this, you may find yourself ‘calling people out’ in situations where you would normally let things go.
7. Becoming More Dissatisfied
Just like you may find yourself becoming more confrontational with people, you may also experience and act on dissatisfaction in other ways. This too is a result of wanting better things for yourself and being more and more willing to demand them.
8. Feeling Lost
If you feel lost in the midst of making a change or growing, it doesn’t mean that you are on the wrong path. What it means is that you are dealing with new experiences, new emotions, new expectations, and ultimately a new reality. That’s a lot to deal with. It should come as no surprise that you find yourself questioning whether or not you know what to do next or even know who you are anymore.
9. Feeling a Strong Desire to Be Alone More Often
This one is especially true for introverts who are making life changes and taking action to grow. You are spending so much emotional energy on the changes you are making that human interaction can be a major drain. You may also have an increasing desire to spend more time in solitude meditating, writing in a journal, doing yoga, or engaging in other solitary activities to help yourself get entered.
10. Beginning to Question Your Friendships
When you make changes, you are essentially questioning your life. This includes your relationships with your friends. You may find yourself questioning whether or not you are still compatible with your friends, and whether or not your relationships with your friends are healthy ones. It may be that your changed self just needs time to adjust before you can renew old friendships, or it could be that you will see that you have friendships that are no longer sustainable. The latter can be difficult to accept, but it is still a sign that you are on the right track.
11. Feeling Intense Sadness
No major change or growth happens without loss. Sometimes the loss is more tangible, such as the loss of a job or the ending of a relationship. Other times the loss is less tangible. For example, you may have decided to drop some negative habits and behaviors, and while you know making the change is for the best, you are still sad at the loss.
12. Dreading the Future
It is completely normal to dread the future. After all, you have taken what was a known, good or bad, and turned it into an unknown. You have no idea where your new path will eventually lead. That can make the future feel like a scary place. If you feel dread, that is perfectly normal.
13. Desiring for Things to Be Like They Used to Be
Familiarity is one of the safest feelings. Even negative familiarity can temporarily feel better than change. There will be points in your journey where all you want is for things to be the way they were. In addition to this, when life becomes complex and difficult, it is perfectly normal to regress a bit and seek past comforts, people, and simplicity.
14. Having Strange and Intense Dreams
Strange and intense dreams, even negative ones, are the cumulative result of new experiences, new emotions, and internal and external conflicts. They are your subconscious mind’s way of working out a lot of heavy stuff while you sleep.
15. Desiring to Cut off Romantic Relationships
Emotionally, while you are making a change, you may begin to doubt your ability to give the time and emotional effort needed to keep romantic relationships going. You may feel as if your partner deserves more, or you may also feel as if it is you that deserves more. The important thing is to not make these kinds of decisions prematurely.
As you can see, some seemingly uncomfortable feelings can actually be a sign that you are on the right track towards your life purpose. Next time when you feel lost or sad or have a strong desire to be alone, maybe it’s time to listen to your inner self to better understand what you really want.
I’ve been on the incredible journey of growing so much spiritually for the last 5 years I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety ptsd mostly after the birth of my 3rd child in 2012 before that I was trying to live a life as peaceful as possible with my abusive husband and 2 other children. I’ve always felt more connected spiritually then others my whole life I’m not sure if it’s because I didn’t have any other guidance being a child of a severe drug abuser then a product of the foster system through all the abuse and neglect as a child I was always so positive however I did act out and made very poor decisions including getting with my then 25 year old husband when I was 17 years old. Got pregnant 5 months later and stuck with him for 10 years it was very up and down and so very dysfunctional and could be at times very abusive. In 2014 I lost the only person who become to be after years of drug abuse and neglect a very amazing woman, mother and even better grandma. I know sounds strange but my mother was my absolute best friend In life and the only person who loved me without conditions. Which I never had before her sobriety 5 days before the birth of my first daughter. After that I was completely lost and was like everything bad and abusive that happened to me hit me like a freight truck I needed to get away from my most recent and longest abuser which unfortunately was my husband and the father of my kids. He didn’t take that well but I survived and so did my daughters. It was around this time I was transforming into this different, wild, and free spirited woman. It was like I completely was starting a new life. Which requires starting from the bottom it was tough but it was also so very humbling and I truly believed in my spirituality through all the ups and downs I was growing and learning truths about myself and life in general I went from being that irresponsible, confused woman to just knowing, knowing myself and just important my faith I finally new who I was besides a mother and wife. I was very empowered. However to fast forward to this time In my life. After basically growing my children’s and my life back from scratch I find myself more depressed and anxious just crazy emotional. I fight through it everyday and try to smile and be happy and thankful for my life and kids but I can say I’m genuinely unhappy. Doesn’t help that my kids who I am very very close with have been very disrespectful and distant with me. It’s Like their different kids and I get it their going to grow up and change basic teenagers. It’s just I don’t have a disciplinary bone in my body one reason being how abusive their father was with them and I. I try to be harder on them but then I just end Up having to yell at them all the time. They will not help me with their chores without a freaking war battle first. Then now their going with their father and his girlfriend every time he’s off work. However the girlfriend ends up with them all the time while he sleeps for his graveyard shift. He buys them expensive clothes and phones , devices but doesn’t spend genuine time with them. I have them 95% of the time with no child support so it’s nice he’s getting them nice things n all but it just makes things more difficult for me with them. Recently I’ve gotten so sad, and stressed that I am back to a really bad season of depression like extremely bad. I’m ready for my kids to go live with their father until they realize how good they have it with me but me even saying that makes me even more sad. Anyways I have rambled a lot I just am at a loss right now. I’ve been making sure to read my spiritual healing criteria everyday and I crave to be at peace it just seems to not happen. I have good intentions for everything I do. I’m there for anyone who needs me I’m constantly doing for others. I love my alone time but it’s like I’m alone even when I’m not. Nobody wants to have a real conversation about these things that matter very much to me. Or shrugs it off to I’m extra stressed with everything going on with the pandemic or some other dumb excuse to just dismiss my misery. I can’t fake it much longer! I’m literally tired! I live and breath for my kids but they don’t want/need me like they once have. God who am I? Even saying something like that shows how fucked up I am. I find myself thinking of ways to give up. I genuinely feel like I’ve been running this rat race and now it’s over and I didn’t win. I feel so unfulfilled especially with all this wisdom and empathy I’ve always wanted to share with the world. But I’ve noticed a lot of time’s is that people are finally noticed after they pass maybe that’s my journey raise my kids now it’s their fathers time and I can finally put an end to this horrible shell my soul is trapped in. I’m not sure who will read this but dam it feels good getting this out of my head.
This was SO helpful and answered so many questions. I’m thankful I have clinical counseling to help me navigate this process of evolving. It’s a journey so unfamiliar and unpleasant.
“Evolve so hard, they have to relearn you”
Hmpf. These all seem to fit me exactly. Although I think this is probably some whack religious website I’ll take these points as something worth holding onto for introspection. Either this is spot on or you are very clever at marketing to people in turmoil. Either way. Blessed be… or whatever. Thanks for the jive talk turkey.
So I just googled, I’m changing and becoming more serious and this article came up on top. Reading it kind of summarize everything I’m going through.
Thank you sooo much for letting me know that this is the effects of wanting to change and grow. Which is something I’ve been working towards for some time.
Yesterday I was thinking to fight it and go back to old me but now I know that this is not an option
Many thnaks again!
Wow. Every single point here is strangely and painfully relevant to me right now. I googled on a whim ‘I feel like I am changing’ and THIS article came up. I feel solace in knowing that I’m not off my rocker, I am professionally aware of mental health warnings and surrounded by people of love, warmth and wellbeing so I have been confused and worried.
Great article. My hope is in Christ but this article really sums up everything I’m currently facing in my life. It can get hard sometimes but we must keep pushing through no matter how we feel or how tough the situation look at the moment. Continue to have faith and trust in God. He loves you and is with you always.
I identify with all the characteristics described in this article. I can’t say that I’m evolving. However, i can say that there are problems within my life that need adjustments. First and foremost, I’ve moved clear cross state to a city I’ve never been to to work in the manufacturing field I’ve never done, with no friends and the closest thing to a relative I left behind to accomplish goals sought out as a child. That was a little over 5 years ago. Now, I have a few friends, a fiance, and her family which I call my own. Sometimes, we have to learn to crawl before we can run and right now, Im up on my feet and just learning to walk again (figuratively speaking). I feel as though acknowledgment is required. It is depression. There is no more explanation other than that. The stress that goes with it, is the energy expended to continue to push through even when your ownself is saying I can’t. It is the three in everyone that has declared war: your spiritual self says YES YOU CAN. YOU CAN STILL WALK. YOU CAN STILL TALK. YOU STILL YET HOLD BREATH. THUS, YOU STILL CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST THAT STRENGTHENS YOU! THE BODY IS THE BATTLE GROUND AND MY MIND SAYS ‘DON’T DO THAT BECAUSE THIS CAN HAPPEN AND THIS AN HAPPEN OR THAT CAN HAPPEN BUT WHAT IF THIS HAPPENS.’ In the times you find yourself imobile, pick up you pen and pencil or computer and canvas. It is at these times when we are at our lowest, we become great. Don’t be discouraged. Acknowledge the presence of your demons and when you’re ready and strong enough, stand and walk forward. Others will never have to feel the way we do. Because of that, they’ll never be as mentally or emotionally as strong as we are. Whether it be in the next 5 minutes or in the next twenty years, there will be one person reading this wondering if life is still worth living and if there is happiness at the end of the tunnel. So, to you I say this: oull neveer see the light if you don’t open your eyes and you’l never walk if you don’t stand, and you’ll never reach the end of the tunnel if you don’t first take a step. You are not alone and regardless of whether or not I know you, I love you. Regardless or not others may have abandoned you, I am still here. When your tears fall, I am there to tell you lift your head, brush the dust off your shoulders and know, the fighting does not stop until you beg the question “WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING TO BEGAN WITH? When the answers cannot be found by others, search yourself and you’ll find the answers have been with you the whole time.” Stay strong.
Just now I read the full article and also some of the comments. I agree to most of all that’s written here, I’ve felt all of the points above when I was very depressed most of my teen years and for the 7 years that followed where I worked hard to wrestle my way out of it. It’s been a difficult, painful, sad, lonely, emotional road where I often questioned if I made the right choice. Did I cut out the right/wrong habits and people? I’ve been mad at others and at myself, been scared and even questioned everyone and everything. Now I look back at all I’ve felt and seeing this post it really made a lot of sense.
Thank you for making me feel like I’m not the odd one out and all I’ve felt on this and making me have confidence I did well. Weirdly enough when you go on fighting negative feelings, negative habits/traits and negative people in your life to the point where you start questioning yourself. I’m just happy to know now it was all natural feelings associated to change.
All of this I relate too.
Especially the “calling people out”.
The angry words that flow out of my mouth are like hidden subconscious feelings and thoughts I never knew were in there until I just can’t take the bs anymore and I verbally explode – seeing past bullshit reasons, excuses, and false realities.
Everything becomes clear. Everything gets spilled. And it feels so damn good and so damn horrible at the same time.
Change is hard. Introspection is hard.
Stop giving yourself a label or trying to medicate it away. Deal with your shit. Let it out and give it time, you will naturally move on. Key word – move, away, forward, -on. Depression Only happens when you don’t take action so get your ass moving and get angry. Stay angry. Then release. Good luck.
that was just great.
Hi. Finally found an article which describes what i am undergoing through exactly. I am at the very starting of stage 4 as me. But my concern is i am feeling a bit disconnected with the love of my life and more connected with others. Should i give more time to it as i am going through this transformation orelse hold on to it. Somene csn help ne in this .
It is indeed an amazing piece of article Rick! My life is changing for the better, but somehow I find most of the crowd disappeared in my life. Thank you for making me understand this is totally normal. 🙂
This is a really great article and couldn’t come at a better time for me. I’ve been feeling pretty isolated and I feel like my friends are no longer where I am in my life. It’s been pretty isolating and I feel so out of control. But this article and some time has made it easier to cope with 🙂
But now my Question is what do I do about the feelings? Nothing ?
Great Great Great Article.
For about the last 10 months I have been almost fighting never ending battles that here recently, I saiid to myself ” WHAT THE FUDGE” . Why does it seem like doing something so meaningful has brought on some much adversity. Well after reading this article ” Its because I am receiving confirmation that I am on the right path”. So many things that I took a liking to I no longer even care to waste my energy on”.
After starting the path of enlightenment this has been an incredible read.